Associating by dissociating

Sometimes my own personal experiences with running are inspiring enough and entertaining enough to warrant a blog post worth reading. Other times I have to go searching for such inspiration. And lately, well, the runs have been normal, and when my recent issue of Runner's World showed up in the mailbox, I immediately began to search for an article or comment I could relate to, and comment on.

The article of inspiration in this month's issue has to do with the argument of associating one's self, or dissociating one's self. There are few types of runners--those who pay close attention to their internal signs (i.e. muscle weakness, fatigue, breathing, heart rate). Then there are those who play closer attention to pace clocks, time, and distance.

Then there's me.

I can not focus on anything related to the run. I have tried both methods--the first makes me start to imagine a sore muscle or makes me realize that I'm feeling tired or having breathing issues. The second makes me aware of how far I've run, thus leading me to imagine I must be tired.

I must be a third group, who totally removes themselves from the run. My mind completely wanders--from work issues to weekend plans to daydreaming about a number of topics. I have become very good at completely blocking out parts of my run and realizing that I don't remember turning down a certain road or running by a certain park--I just did. The good thing with this method? I was able to lose myself in running, and run farther than I could if I thought about it. The bad thing with this method? I trained myself to become an extremely slow, comfortable runner--I wasn't aware of my pace, so more times than not, I jogging at a light pace and not pushing myself.

Running with Ted helps bring me back to reality. We'll talk on the run, he'll ask what our time is, and we'll talk about the course and what we think of it--especially if it is a newer, longer route. The good thing with this method? I have become faster. I have more endurance, I am increasing my mile per minute average, and I am learning I can do things as a runner I never realized I could. The bad thing about this method? Sometimes I miss my lost "me" time...there aren't very many moments in a normal day when I can imagine I'm a famous movie star or picture myself as a tour manager for a hot band (of course, the lead singer ALWAYS has the crush on me, and I'm destined to break his heart).

But having a 27-minute 5K run as average over freak accident? I think I'll trade in my daydreams for that.