Not Running Related--But Just As Frustrating!!!!

I am on the hunt for a new white blouse. And one would think I was looking for something as odd and off-the-wall as a white jumpsuit.

I currently have a white blouse, however, it was a hand-me-down (or up) from a 12-year-old girl, who has since grown into her once large-boned body. Said white blouse fits me perfectly--except it is cut for a 12-year-old girl, not a woman.

I have scoured stores upon stores for a white blouse. Yesterday I was THIIIIS close to stopping a sales associate and asking her if I was being unreasonable and pretending white blouses existed. My list of requirements isn't too much to ask for, I wouldn't think. Loyal blog readers, please let me know--am I being totally high-maintenance with this?

1) White Blouse must be short-sleeved. This does not mean 3/4-length sleeve, sleeveless, short-sleeved because the sleeve is rolled up and buttoned, puffy little-girl-meets-adult sleeve, or sleeveless with lots of white fabric strips hanging down the arm. Just short sleeves.

2) White Blouse must come to my waist. This does not mean white blouse has a black belt and fabric that continues to your knees, nor does it mean white blouse is gathered with a drawstring at the waist, nor does it mean white blouse doubles as a belly shirt, nor does it mean white blouse gets tucked in and therefore is attached to a body-suit type bottom, nor does it mean white blouse is long but made to tie at my belly button. Just come to my waist.

3) White Blouse must be fitted. This does not mean pulled by a ribbon around the back, buttoned at the sides, nor does it mean it is long and hip-hugging. At the same token, I don't want it to hang on me. A little fitted around the waist would be ideal, thank you.

4) White Blouse must be a dressy material. This does not include linen, wool, velvet, cashmere, nor any other material that would not be suitable for summer. A silk or stretchy material would be great. NOTE: This also doesn't mean gauze. Yes, white blouses exist where the description includes "Gauze". This is the equivalent to see-through. If I want a gauzy blouse, I'll wrap myself in a bandage.

5) White Blouse must be white. Not silver. Not Cream. Not Grey. Not Beige. Not Nude. Not Tan. Not White with Silver Thread. Not Taupe. Not Opaque. WHITE.

6) White Blouse must be my size. Although yesterday in Macy's, when I did see one remaining blouse that fit requirements 1-5, I never so badly wanted to be a 2XL in my life.

I'm not quite sure what I'm doing wrong. Any of the specialty clothing stores I regularly shop at does not carry such an item (i.e. Gap, Old Navy, Charlotte Russe, Ross's). Any of the basic department stores are too simple, carrying items that have no shape (i.e. Boscov's, Kohl's, Walmart).

Being a woman is hard--if Ted wanted a white shirt, he'd pull up in front of the first department store he ran across, go in, go to the shelf, pick up his size, proceed to the check-out, pay, and leave. All in the time it takes for me to find a parking spot.

I don't think I'm being overly picky. But until said white blouse is made and carried by local retailers, I will continue to hunt, and wear a white blouse made for someone 15 years younger than me.

It just amuses me that if I was scouring for a white shirt with pirate sleeves and elastic neckband with black belt that I could wear as a dress or a shirt that was see-through, I would have so hit the jackpot. But a simple white blouse is obviously too much to ask for.